My story is not breast cancer. At least not anymore. My story if and when it will be told may not even mention breast cancer except for maybe a footnote, not because I don’t or didn’t have it but because it is my belief that all diseases have a metaphysical component. Even more so no disease can live in a healthy mind and spirit. None. There is often talk of the alkaline body. There is more. Your body can be alkaline and you can still be sick. Your mind body and spirit must be alkalined. Not just your body. When you carry the consciousness of something it multiplies. If you carry the consciousness of pain. It multiplies. When you carry the consciousness of sickness then it multiplies. I will no longer carry the consciousness of cancer or any other ailment in my body. I am done with that way of thinking. It’s outdated and no longer in alignment with who I am becoming.
Almost six (6) years ago I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. I was told my bones were brittle, that my joints would always be inflamed and that there was no cure. My ankles began to age rapidly which led to me walking with a cane, ( I had too much pride to ever let you see me in this way) used wheelchairs at airports and limped terribly… I had to focus on every step. So on top of everything else I would often look down basically afraid that I might fall or trip. This disease directly and indirectly occupied my mind on a daily basis. Fast Forward. I later went on to run my first 5K a couple months ago.
Eventually, I took myself off of the meds, learned to bear the pain (meaning I no longer made it my focus) and stopped being so afraid of falling that I always looked at my feet. I slowly began to walk with my head erect no longer afraid of falling. I made no space for pain in my mind and the pain (though not completely disappearing) subsided.
I am learning that everything I think about including pain…magnifies – this is part of universal law, and there are many more laws at work and play in our lives. These laws are irrefutable and absolute hence the reason I almost didn’t type these few words, because I don’t want to talk about breast cancer except in the context of all diseases being our own creation. What we dwell on magnifies.
I am now more focused on living by these laws and magnifying them in my life in a positive way. I am confident that if I live by those laws the cancer will become irrelevant in my body. I no longer want to continue to talk about and frame my life around something that once consumed me and made me afraid. I have since shed that fear. So much has changed.
There was a time when I would have considered chemo or radiation but now that is no longer even a remote possibility. Grateful I did not succumb to the fear as this type of treatment was not for me. There was a time when I would have considered a mastectomy. In fact I did have one scheduled and as fate would have it that never happened. I did my pre-opt, went through the whole ordeal that is required before an operation and on the day of (spirit) said to me “don’t go.” I listened. To this day I have not heard from the doctor, surgeon nurse, social worker or receptionist at the well known Atlanta hospital where I was treated.
There was a time when I would have willingly represented or even led an organization for breast cancer patients and survivors that interest has left me.
I am convinced that my issue is not cancer but deeper. Cancer is but a symptom. So rather than treat the cancer I am treating the deeper issues.
I am releasing myself from the “cancer victim story”, whilst I begin to create a new story. I hope these few words I share here today will help someone.
This will be the last official chapter of my chapter by chapter story. There have been 7. I will continue to write if I feel like I have something to share that may be helpful. Thank you for coming with me down this road to self discovery.
My healing journey has taken me around the world. Everywhere I traveled in the last 5 years whether on business or pleasure I would seek out the healers, the medicine men and the bush doctors in hopes of finding some relief. There were times when I was so desperate for healing that I would do almost anything and go almost anywhere. Pain, despair, fear and the feeling of impending death will take over if you let it. I was willing to go down some pretty dark alleys and I did. I was willing to traverse the rural countryside with very little information except for some scarce info about a particular healer who lived somewhere in that area. And yes I went to see the community healer in the one room shack where she both lived and healed damn near the entire community. I looked in far away spaces looking to find what I would eventually discover was closer than I ever imagined. Inside of me.
Here is a small sampling of some of that journey. It does not include my domestic team which consisted of everyone from Dr. B in New York, to Dr Jewel Pookrum, Dr. Stephen Tate and the office of Dr. William Richardson in Atlanta.
There was also the consistent and constant advise from some of my heros like Attorney Alton Maddox and Dick Gregory. But maybe I will discuss these later.