I have been silently watching and waiting for the month of June to end. Be over. I had no idea how I would feel once it was over. Would I feel victorious or would I feel like I have failed. Would I be disappointed or would the only disappointment be that I shared too much of my intentions on social media for this month and ended up not achieving them. It would be one of my busiest months ever. I would test my resolve, my stamina and my health in every way.
Now that it is July. And June is history. I feel a little numb. Probably because I slept for two days. Straight.
First was the Cancer | STD Hackathon. I ‘ve never participated in a Hackathon. But I always wanted to. I knew I wanted to build something that might over time make a difference in some way. “A hackathon is a design sprint-like event in which computer programmers and others involved in software development, including graphic designers, interface designers, project managers, and others, often including subject matter experts, collaborate intensively on software projects.” Wikipedia.
The goal of a hackathon is to create usable software, website or app. We entered. We worked around the clock from Friday to Sunday with a few hours sleep in between and came in second place with the “My Breast Cancer Story” website. Check.
The following week I participated in my second Breathwork workshop with Dr. Ma’at Lewis. Spirit Centered Transpersonal Breathwork. It is a practice under skilled facilitation that combines breathing and rhythmic music to inspire expanded states of consciousness that promote the development of self-knowledge, natural inner healing, and integration of spiritual consciousness. Participants receive introduction to breath practices from African-centered and transpersonal perspectives and engage in experiential breath meditation to support their spiritual transformation. The first time I participated it was revealed to me during this process what my next steps would have to be if I intended to be healed. My dance with fear also came up during this process and I was able to actually pinpoint where and how fear enters my body. This second session was not as intense in its revelation but it allowed me to clearly see how breathwork works and why it was necessary for my healing.
At the end of the month (with a whole lot of client work in between..daily in fact) was the commitment I made to run my first 5K. Not sure what was on my mind when I told my trainer friend I would do it but yes seemed like the right answer when she asked me. My only job in preparation was to jog at least 30 minutes per day. And if my RA was acting up then walk. I failed hugely in this regard and began to get some anxiety before the run. Why did I commit to this. How in the hell was me with my RA going to run a 5K. IMG_0042
Well now THAT is history. I did it. I ran the entire time. Wasn’t quite sure if I would do the walk/run thing. And then I slept for 2 days. And I planning and preparing for my next 5K coming up soon.
While all this life was happening I also found out that my cancer marker numbers have increased. This is after months of watching it come down from the high hundred to the low hundreds. Was a little devastated for a minute. But I am back on my routine. Focused on staying a live. You can read more about all of this in my most recent chapter of Through The Stages. You can get it here: www.throughthestages.com.